Tuesday, 25 January 2011
Monday, 24 January 2011
hey choco bro
our school is an oppressive, communist regiem in discise. not only this but the senoir managment are naive and power drunk. our common room, ment to be a place of relaxation and socialising. But because our school is repuation obssesed the only thing they worry about is the well fare of the grades, without a second thought for the mental health of the pupils within it. basicly the new system is that we get no frees at all and have to work in every single one bar one a week. We are removed from the common if were not on a "designated" free and sent to the libary, a system i can only compare to the nazi segrigation of the jews to the ghettos. that brings me onto the point that the common room itself could be compared to a ghetto, only last term did it get a fresh, clean water supply. It is BARE, and thats not the good bare, its the shit one. there are chairs adn tahts it, infact not even enough chairs. and then they wonder why we resort to food fights to save our sanity. its food fights for we shall all rapidily decend along the slippery slope of mental unstability, it will start with a sprinkling of light paranoia then the voices will creep into those weekest among us, before you know it you will have 200 teens plotting murder on one another because the nice head man said he called your mother a whore. so senoir managment, pull your heads out your arses get over selfs and let us do as we wish. you do after all keep baning on about "responibility" how do you expect us to be responsable to others if were not allowed to be responable of ourselfs! The senoir managment are more like gangsters than a senoir managment team, there pride and ego are so fragile, that they have to flex their muslcles constantly just to prove to themsleves that they are worth something, differance being gangsters kill, senior managment set up a dictatorship system sucking the life and soul from any pupil to enter "their" walls
but thats a rant over, this is ment to be a dairy of sorts. or an event log as i prefere it to be called, so that when "the gravy" are that bit closer to the restricing effects of rigor mortis we can look back and realise just how completly retarded we were and how bang on life was!
buuuuut, that tends to be long, teadous and boring for all other parties so ill throw in a few of my rants and raves of issues that bug me, and hey never know might be one or two controversial ones just to spice things up ;)
one subject i wold like to touch apon quickly is that of gaming being "sad". its an absolulty ridiculous idea, its fine for a footballer or any other sportsman to dedicate every single living breath of theirs to a single activity, but as soon as that activity invovles anything other than our bodies physical abilities it becomes labled as "sad", a term i dont actualy understand in teh first place seeing as most people get great pleasure from their obsession. personally i think it all steams from a fear those those that can easy beat the jocks, not on the pitch but in the classroom or in an argument, and with the jocks being a breed driven my competativness, this destroyes them and so they lash out and try to destroy those who may challenge them. I dont care what people live for, as long as its something, i dont care if its crotchet or football or puzzles or star trek, but as long as its something, what i do find sad is people who dont live for anything. sort it out!
that is all
and dont worry im still getting into the swing of things, my old style shall make a grand return soon!
for the lulz
our school is an oppressive, communist regiem in discise. not only this but the senoir managment are naive and power drunk. our common room, ment to be a place of relaxation and socialising. But because our school is repuation obssesed the only thing they worry about is the well fare of the grades, without a second thought for the mental health of the pupils within it. basicly the new system is that we get no frees at all and have to work in every single one bar one a week. We are removed from the common if were not on a "designated" free and sent to the libary, a system i can only compare to the nazi segrigation of the jews to the ghettos. that brings me onto the point that the common room itself could be compared to a ghetto, only last term did it get a fresh, clean water supply. It is BARE, and thats not the good bare, its the shit one. there are chairs adn tahts it, infact not even enough chairs. and then they wonder why we resort to food fights to save our sanity. its food fights for we shall all rapidily decend along the slippery slope of mental unstability, it will start with a sprinkling of light paranoia then the voices will creep into those weekest among us, before you know it you will have 200 teens plotting murder on one another because the nice head man said he called your mother a whore. so senoir managment, pull your heads out your arses get over selfs and let us do as we wish. you do after all keep baning on about "responibility" how do you expect us to be responsable to others if were not allowed to be responable of ourselfs! The senoir managment are more like gangsters than a senoir managment team, there pride and ego are so fragile, that they have to flex their muslcles constantly just to prove to themsleves that they are worth something, differance being gangsters kill, senior managment set up a dictatorship system sucking the life and soul from any pupil to enter "their" walls
but thats a rant over, this is ment to be a dairy of sorts. or an event log as i prefere it to be called, so that when "the gravy" are that bit closer to the restricing effects of rigor mortis we can look back and realise just how completly retarded we were and how bang on life was!
buuuuut, that tends to be long, teadous and boring for all other parties so ill throw in a few of my rants and raves of issues that bug me, and hey never know might be one or two controversial ones just to spice things up ;)
one subject i wold like to touch apon quickly is that of gaming being "sad". its an absolulty ridiculous idea, its fine for a footballer or any other sportsman to dedicate every single living breath of theirs to a single activity, but as soon as that activity invovles anything other than our bodies physical abilities it becomes labled as "sad", a term i dont actualy understand in teh first place seeing as most people get great pleasure from their obsession. personally i think it all steams from a fear those those that can easy beat the jocks, not on the pitch but in the classroom or in an argument, and with the jocks being a breed driven my competativness, this destroyes them and so they lash out and try to destroy those who may challenge them. I dont care what people live for, as long as its something, i dont care if its crotchet or football or puzzles or star trek, but as long as its something, what i do find sad is people who dont live for anything. sort it out!
that is all
and dont worry im still getting into the swing of things, my old style shall make a grand return soon!
for the lulz
Sunday, 23 January 2011
hey choco bro
would you look at this, iv made the first post in a millenuim. well not litrally but it feels it. so i think this could be the start of me re-starting this whole shibang so yeh get ready for some of the greatest pieces of your text for your complexe minds to decypher into wonderful and subtle works.
for the lulz
would you look at this, iv made the first post in a millenuim. well not litrally but it feels it. so i think this could be the start of me re-starting this whole shibang so yeh get ready for some of the greatest pieces of your text for your complexe minds to decypher into wonderful and subtle works.
for the lulz
Saturday, 25 April 2009
hey choco bro
Friday was a day of merriment as glee. TD day :D:D:D:D:D but yeh to be honest a cba to report on that so i will make it brief. (i just lost the game 21:10) basicly we did what we aslways did but went to pick up brads brother and went on maths curcuis on the new toshiba laptops :D what an epic game, better than anything today even cod4. so yeh basicly that it apart from brads usualy stupid remarks now and then.
it wasnt until the night were something worth mentioning happened,BRAD. BRAD wanted to go to nass!!!!!! Now for those of you who dont know (if any outsiders do read this) brad is middle class, never got in a fight, never got wasted, had rules and regulations, cant take the slightest mention of a hit, didnt know what drugs money was, didnt know what a bong was, had a fall out with his mum (no offence to her shes the cool one ;) ) (over issues i am not at liberty to disscus becasue it would eb unfair and a breach of his private life) and he cant run or fight. to be honest hes very very middle class. it took liam, oli and I hours to convince brad that nass isnt his seen. so we settled on the middle class option of womad or glastonbury. few we have saved our selves the smell of bruing fat for weeks after. which can only be a good thing. so glastonbury 10 here we come.
so today saturday, for me it started with imence productivity with making radom spirals on photoshop. then basicly i ended up at pips with liam and inpecting his quad core. then we were off to go and get beth and her sisters. seeing as i had no lunch and were middle class (a fact only really we've bought into light) we went to M and S (other proprietry super markets are avlible) to get lunch, a sanwich, drink and crisps for £2, bargin!!!! (i love the person who invented the bracket) so then it was off to brads in the least effient way we could find.
when we got there brad came out :S (dont worry this will all become clear later. so pretty much as soon as brad came out the rain followed him. (the average speed of which is 7mph) as we were walking along pip and beth were getting high on just the smell of summer rain, even though it wasnt summer, but meh we wont stop there high.
that brings out another 2 points:
1. pip and beth have got chemistr. now i meen chemistry to the point were its as strong as strong force, the thing that holds together the atom, the building block of life. i meen seriously pip make a move. and PIP do it because iv been told that its got to be the man (probably something to do with us being the dominant sex, but i duno)
2. brad wants beth baddd. to the point were he copies anything she does or has. eg laughter, body position, boob size, (brb shower i shall continue after the washing of my body) (bak) so yes i shall continue as promised. and anything she does.
compition, but tbh i think pip would win!!!
so, using our initiaitve instead of trasping all the way to oli and molly's we found refuge under the tree which the iron fist of the corupt organisation that call them selves frome council had desided to shank, and remove all our shelter, and do you know there reason, .......
________
You have just sent a nudge.
________
hello????
________
You have just sent a nudge.
________
fine ill have to say, it was so the park would be more user friendly. its not a bloody OS. ARGGGGG seriously thats ridiculous, get our act together frome counil (your not even worth a full stop)
so then, jsut as we were ringing oli and molly (heheeh that rhymes XD) the sun came out, and it was instantly warm, instantly nice. this greatly annoyed us seeing as we had just been kicked in the face with the boot of pirsipitation. damn you to hell rain.
in order to keep us midly amused until oli got here (at which point molly was here) we took brads shoes, when he was far away and placed them high in a tree XD (for the lulz) but alas eventualy we did have to give it back, even though to be honest his shoes are in such a bad state it doesn't make the slightest differance, but i suppose what ever floats your boat.
not too long after this oli came, and we stayed pretty much doing the same thing (talking and producing lulz) recalling what happened earlier, and with a cloud looming overhead brad kindly invited us to his humble abode. but what we didnt realise is that brad was grounded!!!!:S yet he was still allowed out hmmmm. this was due to the fact that earlier he ordered a dominoes without concent, then he got moody. we all said fair enought your grounded i suppose, atleast your allowed out. but no brad couldnt take it, he said, and i am quoting "the further away from home the better" "i dont want to go home now" BRADDDDDD its a pizza and you dont even have problems at home, there are people out there with real problems, people who fear for there lives. GROW UP!!!!
moving on from that, and on to something a little more lighthearted, going to oli's.
luckily we were allowed there, probabily because we dont seem to spend every weekend there. so we ventured deep into middle earth facing the risk of beign mauled to death by two beastes which can only be described by the reincarnatin of the devil its self, only with claws. only jocking we went up to oli's room and had to pass his dogs :P
when in oli's room we watch quite an amusing film that i cant remember the name of but was very funny and a bit rasict, but none the less amusing.
oli's was a blast (hahaah lol i havent said that in years, anyways i'm going off point i shall continue before i go too far off point (i lost the game 23:11) o yeh im watching chariot by cat empire, great song) its produced many lulz oli's very contemry room. please comment the film bellow i much enjoyed it and wish to watch again.
at around 6ish we all left to return to our homes, well our parents but you know what i meen. actualy i say that brad was sleeping in the park, but i am not at liberty to disclose what happened after that. so im off to bed now i think, yeh bed sounds good.
remember rubber on rubber causes friction and friction=breakages and breakages= babies and babies=no more money or freedom and no more money or freedom=missery and missery=depression and depression=self harm and slef harm=suicide and suicide=death and death is pretty final:D
byyb until next time
for the lulz
Friday was a day of merriment as glee. TD day :D:D:D:D:D but yeh to be honest a cba to report on that so i will make it brief. (i just lost the game 21:10) basicly we did what we aslways did but went to pick up brads brother and went on maths curcuis on the new toshiba laptops :D what an epic game, better than anything today even cod4. so yeh basicly that it apart from brads usualy stupid remarks now and then.
it wasnt until the night were something worth mentioning happened,BRAD. BRAD wanted to go to nass!!!!!! Now for those of you who dont know (if any outsiders do read this) brad is middle class, never got in a fight, never got wasted, had rules and regulations, cant take the slightest mention of a hit, didnt know what drugs money was, didnt know what a bong was, had a fall out with his mum (no offence to her shes the cool one ;) ) (over issues i am not at liberty to disscus becasue it would eb unfair and a breach of his private life) and he cant run or fight. to be honest hes very very middle class. it took liam, oli and I hours to convince brad that nass isnt his seen. so we settled on the middle class option of womad or glastonbury. few we have saved our selves the smell of bruing fat for weeks after. which can only be a good thing. so glastonbury 10 here we come.
so today saturday, for me it started with imence productivity with making radom spirals on photoshop. then basicly i ended up at pips with liam and inpecting his quad core. then we were off to go and get beth and her sisters. seeing as i had no lunch and were middle class (a fact only really we've bought into light) we went to M and S (other proprietry super markets are avlible) to get lunch, a sanwich, drink and crisps for £2, bargin!!!! (i love the person who invented the bracket) so then it was off to brads in the least effient way we could find.
when we got there brad came out :S (dont worry this will all become clear later. so pretty much as soon as brad came out the rain followed him. (the average speed of which is 7mph) as we were walking along pip and beth were getting high on just the smell of summer rain, even though it wasnt summer, but meh we wont stop there high.
that brings out another 2 points:
1. pip and beth have got chemistr. now i meen chemistry to the point were its as strong as strong force, the thing that holds together the atom, the building block of life. i meen seriously pip make a move. and PIP do it because iv been told that its got to be the man (probably something to do with us being the dominant sex, but i duno)
2. brad wants beth baddd. to the point were he copies anything she does or has. eg laughter, body position, boob size, (brb shower i shall continue after the washing of my body) (bak) so yes i shall continue as promised. and anything she does.
compition, but tbh i think pip would win!!!
so, using our initiaitve instead of trasping all the way to oli and molly's we found refuge under the tree which the iron fist of the corupt organisation that call them selves frome council had desided to shank, and remove all our shelter, and do you know there reason, .......
________
You have just sent a nudge.
________
hello????
________
You have just sent a nudge.
________
fine ill have to say, it was so the park would be more user friendly. its not a bloody OS. ARGGGGG seriously thats ridiculous, get our act together frome counil (your not even worth a full stop)
so then, jsut as we were ringing oli and molly (heheeh that rhymes XD) the sun came out, and it was instantly warm, instantly nice. this greatly annoyed us seeing as we had just been kicked in the face with the boot of pirsipitation. damn you to hell rain.
in order to keep us midly amused until oli got here (at which point molly was here) we took brads shoes, when he was far away and placed them high in a tree XD (for the lulz) but alas eventualy we did have to give it back, even though to be honest his shoes are in such a bad state it doesn't make the slightest differance, but i suppose what ever floats your boat.
not too long after this oli came, and we stayed pretty much doing the same thing (talking and producing lulz) recalling what happened earlier, and with a cloud looming overhead brad kindly invited us to his humble abode. but what we didnt realise is that brad was grounded!!!!:S yet he was still allowed out hmmmm. this was due to the fact that earlier he ordered a dominoes without concent, then he got moody. we all said fair enought your grounded i suppose, atleast your allowed out. but no brad couldnt take it, he said, and i am quoting "the further away from home the better" "i dont want to go home now" BRADDDDDD its a pizza and you dont even have problems at home, there are people out there with real problems, people who fear for there lives. GROW UP!!!!
moving on from that, and on to something a little more lighthearted, going to oli's.
luckily we were allowed there, probabily because we dont seem to spend every weekend there. so we ventured deep into middle earth facing the risk of beign mauled to death by two beastes which can only be described by the reincarnatin of the devil its self, only with claws. only jocking we went up to oli's room and had to pass his dogs :P
when in oli's room we watch quite an amusing film that i cant remember the name of but was very funny and a bit rasict, but none the less amusing.
oli's was a blast (hahaah lol i havent said that in years, anyways i'm going off point i shall continue before i go too far off point (i lost the game 23:11) o yeh im watching chariot by cat empire, great song) its produced many lulz oli's very contemry room. please comment the film bellow i much enjoyed it and wish to watch again.
at around 6ish we all left to return to our homes, well our parents but you know what i meen. actualy i say that brad was sleeping in the park, but i am not at liberty to disclose what happened after that. so im off to bed now i think, yeh bed sounds good.
remember rubber on rubber causes friction and friction=breakages and breakages= babies and babies=no more money or freedom and no more money or freedom=missery and missery=depression and depression=self harm and slef harm=suicide and suicide=death and death is pretty final:D
byyb until next time
for the lulz
Thursday, 16 April 2009
for the lulz
hey choco bro
today i have many i thing to mention in this blog. so first i shall start at the beginning in chronological order. that seems like the right thing to do.
Right so we set off on our walk of epic proportions for out picnic :D woop woop. but actually it started with the biggest brown nose alert we have had to date i think, Brad. he ran all the way to Liam's house. yes people brad ran, and for what, to give Liam a pair of headphones all due to the fact he didn't like using the speakers brad had already given him. this isn't anything against Liam, its brad. it had nothing to do with him it was just a severe case of brown nosing from brad. no insult intended just pointing out the facts.
so after brads nose was prised from Liam's rectum they set off in order to retrieve us the gravy for our epic walk to a field some were in the middle of some other field. the first place on their travels was my house, after my faffing around with bags and food, mainly due to my lack of preparation. but that's another blog post. after this we set off to Beth's, who was still in her jammies. SHAME ON YOU. so evidently she was not fit to leave and had far to much "course work" sureee Beth we believe you. so as we all accepted this fact and moved on in our lives to go get Sam brad would not let it lie. and trust me we didn't hear the end of it. it was just brad going on and on and on and on about why couldn't she come out. seriously brad make your move now or shut up!!!!!
at Sam's it was fairly straight forward, we just picked him up, nice and easy. so there is nothing of real interest to document, consequently rendering the last paragraph useless and a waste of our time. so moving swiftly on....
ahead of us lay an epic walk, a walk to blow all other walks out of proportion. it was all the way to middle earth a place were so little is ventured from we thought all life was dead there. i am of course referring to oli's house. as the door was opened we were attacked by the orc guards, we feared for our lives and in the moment when we thought all else was lost and that was it brad spoke. he made what he thought would be his final breath "Liam" "i love you." he then started rolling in the floor in agonising pain writhing and twisting. OK i lie. oli's dogs saw us and greatly scared brad, which was just as amusing.
as liam, brad, oli and i set off to venture for food in sainburies pip and sam went to get molly. i cant fully report on this seeing as my presents were else were.
DAMNNNNNN iv got loads more to write, so i shall endevere.
the only really amusing moment in sainburies was when brad was hugley strugling with the amount of food he had and his laptop to bag, to which we just stood and laughed. until alas oli stepped in and saved the day.
so basicly there was many an argument on were we should eat. pip sam and myself didnt agree with the insaness of the "house" purley from what iv heard. and the thing is i had the food. so after brad had had a fit over some chocolate and we risked falling into a raging river we found a suitable spot to eat and sat and ate.
now the problem with walking so far is that carbonated beverages start to fizz and build up. i found this out today with dramatic effect, ginger beer sprayed everywere. it was only bradley and i getting wet until he pushed it over and it sprayed litraley EVERYWERE with catastrophic effect. killing many inocent ie. liams laptop. eventualy someone (i cant remember who) stepped in and heroicly thru it far far away were it could harm no one.
but we continued with our eating and general banter. after that we left. brad found this harder than any of us, getting stick between a branch, a log and come doctor pepper (which apparently hurts your foot :S) pip has the video so just ask him for it. finally he was saved with a group effort. well done team.
afer we were at the park before we knew it with brad and liam on their laptops lulz
so yeh thats about all i can be assed to write, so please tell me if iv missed out anything major.
for the lulz
lulz vs fail
bybybybyby :D
today i have many i thing to mention in this blog. so first i shall start at the beginning in chronological order. that seems like the right thing to do.
Right so we set off on our walk of epic proportions for out picnic :D woop woop. but actually it started with the biggest brown nose alert we have had to date i think, Brad. he ran all the way to Liam's house. yes people brad ran, and for what, to give Liam a pair of headphones all due to the fact he didn't like using the speakers brad had already given him. this isn't anything against Liam, its brad. it had nothing to do with him it was just a severe case of brown nosing from brad. no insult intended just pointing out the facts.
so after brads nose was prised from Liam's rectum they set off in order to retrieve us the gravy for our epic walk to a field some were in the middle of some other field. the first place on their travels was my house, after my faffing around with bags and food, mainly due to my lack of preparation. but that's another blog post. after this we set off to Beth's, who was still in her jammies. SHAME ON YOU. so evidently she was not fit to leave and had far to much "course work" sureee Beth we believe you. so as we all accepted this fact and moved on in our lives to go get Sam brad would not let it lie. and trust me we didn't hear the end of it. it was just brad going on and on and on and on about why couldn't she come out. seriously brad make your move now or shut up!!!!!
at Sam's it was fairly straight forward, we just picked him up, nice and easy. so there is nothing of real interest to document, consequently rendering the last paragraph useless and a waste of our time. so moving swiftly on....
ahead of us lay an epic walk, a walk to blow all other walks out of proportion. it was all the way to middle earth a place were so little is ventured from we thought all life was dead there. i am of course referring to oli's house. as the door was opened we were attacked by the orc guards, we feared for our lives and in the moment when we thought all else was lost and that was it brad spoke. he made what he thought would be his final breath "Liam" "i love you." he then started rolling in the floor in agonising pain writhing and twisting. OK i lie. oli's dogs saw us and greatly scared brad, which was just as amusing.
as liam, brad, oli and i set off to venture for food in sainburies pip and sam went to get molly. i cant fully report on this seeing as my presents were else were.
DAMNNNNNN iv got loads more to write, so i shall endevere.
the only really amusing moment in sainburies was when brad was hugley strugling with the amount of food he had and his laptop to bag, to which we just stood and laughed. until alas oli stepped in and saved the day.
so basicly there was many an argument on were we should eat. pip sam and myself didnt agree with the insaness of the "house" purley from what iv heard. and the thing is i had the food. so after brad had had a fit over some chocolate and we risked falling into a raging river we found a suitable spot to eat and sat and ate.
now the problem with walking so far is that carbonated beverages start to fizz and build up. i found this out today with dramatic effect, ginger beer sprayed everywere. it was only bradley and i getting wet until he pushed it over and it sprayed litraley EVERYWERE with catastrophic effect. killing many inocent ie. liams laptop. eventualy someone (i cant remember who) stepped in and heroicly thru it far far away were it could harm no one.
but we continued with our eating and general banter. after that we left. brad found this harder than any of us, getting stick between a branch, a log and come doctor pepper (which apparently hurts your foot :S) pip has the video so just ask him for it. finally he was saved with a group effort. well done team.
afer we were at the park before we knew it with brad and liam on their laptops lulz
so yeh thats about all i can be assed to write, so please tell me if iv missed out anything major.
for the lulz
lulz vs fail
bybybybyby :D
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
todays avents
hey choco bro
today once again we went out. with pip and Beth high as kites, but I'm getting ahead of my self. so it started when brad rang Liam about 11ish and so Liam doing the natural thing set out, but alas he did not go straight to brads but took a detour to pips, then Beth's, then oli then molly. at this point i set off to go find them and lost my bearings and had to ring everyone to inform them of this. soooooooo they had to back track to come to my aid, this was a good 2 hours after brad had rang liam and was starting to sound more and more depressed.
by now pip and beth were completely tripping out on co2 and brad was close to slitting his wrists. so eventualy we got to the park and brad had the whole "im drepressed in order to get the mearest sexual attention from beth now shes single" act on. none of us were having any of his silly little games apart from the kind heart of beth, which annoyingly played right into brads hands. Damn you brad and beths kindness towards you.
quote molly "iv been carrying a knife scince 6 incase the kids dont pay up"
please comment anynthing iv missed coz iv got a feeling i av :D
today once again we went out. with pip and Beth high as kites, but I'm getting ahead of my self. so it started when brad rang Liam about 11ish and so Liam doing the natural thing set out, but alas he did not go straight to brads but took a detour to pips, then Beth's, then oli then molly. at this point i set off to go find them and lost my bearings and had to ring everyone to inform them of this. soooooooo they had to back track to come to my aid, this was a good 2 hours after brad had rang liam and was starting to sound more and more depressed.
by now pip and beth were completely tripping out on co2 and brad was close to slitting his wrists. so eventualy we got to the park and brad had the whole "im drepressed in order to get the mearest sexual attention from beth now shes single" act on. none of us were having any of his silly little games apart from the kind heart of beth, which annoyingly played right into brads hands. Damn you brad and beths kindness towards you.
quote molly "iv been carrying a knife scince 6 incase the kids dont pay up"
please comment anynthing iv missed coz iv got a feeling i av :D
Saturday, 11 April 2009
very funny very true
hey choco bro
i found these very funny very true facts.
i wont say were from because i would have to kill you.
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your
pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way
through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
i found these very funny very true facts.
i wont say were from because i would have to kill you.
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your
pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way
through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
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